Hope for Codependents: Helping a Codependent Friend
Living Free Every Day®
A ministry of LivingFree.org
Today's Scripture
"Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne." Matthew 11:29-30 AMP
Thoughts for Today
Codependent people often feel guilty because they believe that they did something to cause their loved one to go out of control. They see that their efforts have not cured the person, and they think that somehow if they try harder, they can control the person with the life-controlling problem. The misbelief that we can "fix" other people leads to a painful cycle of failure and loss of self-worth.
If you are trying to assist a friend who has become codependent, help him or her understand these truths:
- They did not cause their loved one's problem. Their loved one is responsible for the choices that have led to addiction, no matter what the circumstances may be.
- They cannot control their loved one's behaviors. Trying to control the struggling person through manipulation, domination and guilt only leads to a greater loss of energy. They cannot fix their loved one—only God can do that.
- They cannot cure their loved one. Encourage them to give their anxiety to the Lord. He doesn't want us to suffer through this kind of struggle. He has promised us that his burden is light.
Consider this …
Codependents need encouragement to examine their own lives. Because of their own delusions, they usually cannot see their addiction to another person. It takes friends from the outside to point out this reality to them. You can help your codependent friends by
- Taking them to a Living Free Concerned Persons group
- Encouraging them to focus on Christ instead of on their loved one
- Modeling an honest relationship with respect and boundaries
- Care-fronting delusion
- Encouraging them to accept responsibility for their own actions
- Praying for them
Prayer
Father, guide me in helping my friend. Help her understand that she can't fix her loved one … that your yoke is easy, and your burden is light … that she can trust you with her loved one. In Jesus' name …
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©Living Free 2020. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day® devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN, www.LivingFree.org. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending an e-mail to [email protected]
