I'm a novelist and podcaster, and I am a Christian. Here's why that will never change. I used to keep a decorative sign in my bathroom that read, God's promises are like the stars. The darker the night, the brighter they shine. And often when I would reflect upon those words, I would remember all of the ways that God watched over me and cared for me as scripture promises when I wasn't even aware he was doing so.
When I was running from him, in fact, my conversion story is complicated, to say the least, but the short version is I first learned of Jesus's love for me and how he gave his life so that I might live as a frizzy-haired country bumpkin little girl living in a small town mobile home park. One day, a woman who lived a street or so down invited me and some other kids into her home, fed us popcorn and told us about Jesus. I don't remember how many days I spent in her home or much of what she said, except for the day that she told me Jesus died for me. And that, that stuck. That hit deep. I believe that was the moment God grabbed my heart. We moved shortly after that, and I never really grew in my faith. I never watered and nourished that tiny and somewhat dormant seed God had planted in my soul.
By the time I reached my teenage years, I had spiraled into self-destruction and eventually into homelessness, but still, God held tight to me. In the pit of my despair, when I wasn't literally trying to drink myself to death, I would cry out to him. I would ask him to forgive me for the wreck I had become and to send someone to help me. He did, my husband. Well, he's my husband now and has been for nearly 30 years. He helped me get on my feet. He showed me the love of Jesus. Once my life felt less chaotic, I started attending church. I connected with some amazing brothers and sisters in Christ, and my faith exploded.
Then, on a good Friday in the year 2000, as I was enjoying a beautiful, joyous morning walk with my inquisitive preschool daughter, I saw a vision of Jesus with his arms outstretched. And I became overwhelmed with gratitude for all that he had done for me and where he had brought me. And that was the day I first sensed his call to give my life in service to him.
Although I didn't fully understand what that meant, I knew he was worth my every moment, my every desire, my every dream. Because looking back from where I once was to where I am now, I know from experience that his dreams for my life are always way better than anything I could plan for myself. Be blessed today and visit Christianity.com regularly because God is not finished with our story.
Photo Credit: SWN Design
