If You're Walking a Road That's Still Really Hard
LYSA TERKEURST
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“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)
Recently, a sweet gal sent me a message on Instagram. She wanted me to know more about her story.
She thought she’d been obedient to God for the past decade after an immense heartbreak, but she was questioning that now because her life was still really hard. She wanted to know if I would be so positive and confident in trusting the Lord if I hadn’t met the man who is now my husband, Chaz.
Such a fair and understandable question.
Trusting God without seeing the redemption we thought we’d get to see by now can feel like the deepest betrayal of all. It’s also what builds our faith, but sometimes we’d rather have relief than another learning opportunity.
I sat with her question for a while. I don’t hang out in my DMs often and rarely get to respond as much as I would like to. But since I read this message, I knew I needed to respond. And I didn’t want my answer to gloss over her deep pain with a few cliché sentences and a Bible verse. She deserved more than that. And so do you, as you may find yourself navigating something similar.
This is what I wrote back:
I’ve spent many nights staring up into the sky, bewildered as I felt my disappointment turn from grief to numbness to distance from God. There were so many times when I thought God was about to turn everything around, but then things got worse. Some of my darkest days were when I couldn’t understand what God was allowing. And my fear was: Because God allowed all of this, what else might He allow?
Slowly, I’ve realized I cannot attach my hope to God making things feel fair. And I certainly can’t attach my hope to my desired outcomes. I have to attach my hope to who God is. He’s good and faithful, a Father who loves me.
God’s character, which never changes, is His promise to me and you. We can stand with assurance on who He is even when we don’t understand what He does or doesn’t do. There are still hurtful things happening surrounding my divorce too. I wish this wasn’t the case for either of us.
I’m grateful God has brought into my life a man who loves Jesus, and I'm grateful for all the joy that comes along with being in a healthy relationship. But even this gift comes with fears and uncertainties. So my challenge now is not to tie my hope of a better future to this new man. It’s the same lesson I was learning during the many years of feeling so very alone. I now have different challenges, but I'm still learning to trust God just like when my friends found new love while I was intensely lonely. It’s so hard.
I understand, and I so wish I could look into your future and whisper back to you all the wonderful things ahead of you. While I can’t do that, I can promise God is at work. Hang on, beautiful friend.
I wanted to make more concrete promises to her about what God is working on. I would have loved to give her a time frame to help ease her angst. I would love to make that possible for all of us. But I guess through my journey, I’ve come to terms with the truth that if it were good for us to have such specific information about our future, God would surely give it to us. So the fact that He isn’t allowing us access to those details lets me know having that information isn't best.
I don’t always want to leave room for this mystery of God. I’m not usually eager to claim verses like Hebrews 11:1 as my favorite: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
I want faith to operate within my eyesight. I am desperate for visible evidence so that faith doesn’t feel so risky. But faith doesn’t work that way.
Faith will always make us anxious and unsure — unless we are confident in the goodness of God. If we stand firm on His goodness and know everything He allows is somehow flowing from that goodness, then we will have a lot less fear in trusting Him. Faith in God means being assured of His goodness even when what He allows doesn’t feel good, seem good or look good right now.
Today, I hope you feel a little less alone as you walk through your hard situations. Like the sweet friend who sent me a message, we all have what-if questions. But I’ve found the best way to fight through our toughest questions is to create space for more of God’s perspective.
Father, I believe You care deeply for me and know what is best for my life. Even when I don’t understand what You’re doing or why I’m walking through a certain situation, I will continue to be obedient and follow You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
What our minds can’t understand, our hearts tend to distrust. We find ourselves wondering, If God let this happen, can He even be trusted? Stop having more faith in your fears coming true than God coming through for you — start asking crucial what-if questions to better process your doubts with Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment. When you preorder now, you can start reading the first few chapters before the book releases! Preorder here!
ENGAGE
Find real-life encouragement when you connect with Lysa TerKeurst here on Instagram.
FOR DEEPER STUDY
Psalm 10:14a, “But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand” (NIV).
What grief are you carrying today? What hard road are you walking where maybe your faith feels a little weak?
Even in this, how have you seen the goodness of God in circumstances that aren’t good?
We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments.
© 2024 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
