When You Aren’t Sure That Relationship Is Going To Make It
LYSA TERKEURST
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“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 (ESV)
I know the heart-ripping hopelessness of a relationship unraveling.
The silence. The rejection. The harsh words. The coldness. The questions. The lack of answers. The hurt.
Why is it they only call in the anesthesiologists when you are surgically cut open? When you are being ripped open emotionally, it’s no less painful.
And that’s why my heart aches for anyone who is in a struggling relationship today … wondering if they’re going to make it or if this relationship is going to go the distance. Maybe that’s you. And if it is, I’m so sorry. Whether it’s with a friend, a parent, a spouse or anyone else you love dearly, I personally know the deep hurt when one person resigns while the other is still trying. There is a panic that arises when you desperately want the other person to wake up, stop their resignation and stop all the destruction.
The situation you’re experiencing is much more complicated than simple answers I could offer here. But I do want to give you just one stepping stone upon which to stand in whatever hard relationship situation you find yourself in:
Decide today that you are worthy.
Because you are. Worthy. You may not feel like it. But a quick glimpse at Psalm 139:13-14 assures me that you are: “For you [God] formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
You are “fearfully and wonderfully made” by a loving God who cares for you. Who loves you. And I’d rather depend on the solid Truth of God than the roller coaster of fickle feelings.
You are beautiful and captivating and smart and capable. But if you are in a relationship full of dysfunction, unresolved issues and frustrating communication, I suspect you feel a little less than all I’ve described.
Broken-down relationships can really break down a woman. And if you’re anything like me, when you feel broken down, those around you get your worst. Then upon all the hurt and anxiety, you layer regret, shame and the feeling that you’ve lost yourself. You’ve lost that girl inside who used to be so positive and happy and ready to take on the world.
Can I whisper a tender truth to you? The only way to recapture her is to come up for air and remember: You are worthy because the Creator of the universe says you are.
Then you can act worthy. And step aside from the emotional yuck to make some level-headed decisions for yourself. You can’t control how others act and react, but you can control how you act and react. You can get a plan. Talk to wise people who love you. Meet with a Christian counselor who will walk this tough journey with you. You can draw some healthy and helpful boundaries inside this relationship if some are needed. You can pray like crazy for clear discernment because Jesus is the best source of help.
Jesus sees. He knows. He loves. And He will direct you as long as you stick with Him. Honest cries for help, lifted up to Jesus, will not go unheard.
I pray the relationship you’re struggling in right now survives. I pray with every fiber of my being that it does. But if it doesn’t, I pray most of all that the beautiful woman you are rises above all that fell apart, still clinging tightly to the only opinion that matters — the opinion of the One who forever calls you worthy.
Dear Lord, when I’m struggling in relationships in my life, I feel so consumed with pain and fear. Help me, please. I need to hold on to Your truth that I am worthy. And, God, please show me the wise and healing steps I can take right now. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
Stop navigating difficult relationships alone, and utilize biblical and therapeutic wisdom inside Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. When you preorder through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you’ll get our exclusive edition of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes that includes a bonus section only available in books ordered from us! This insightful content is called: “A Healthy Way To Have Hard Conversations.” Preorder now!
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FOR DEEPER STUDY
Psalm 66:20, “Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!” (NIV)
How does realizing God does not withhold His love from you encourage you even more to live worthy today? Let us know in the comments!
© 2022 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
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