Divine Disconnection
SHERI ROSE SHEPHERD
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“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.” John 15:4 (NLT)
I’ve always struggled with a sense of inner loneliness. No matter how many people I know or who I am with, whether in a crowd or at home, I fight that deep, dark feeling of loneliness.
It was the same on the night I became a Christian. I was 24, by myself in a hotel room, feeling alone, like I didn’t have a real friend in the world, and fighting with guilt and shame from my past. To be honest, I was contemplating taking my life.
Feeling so desperate, I finally cried out for the first time to what seemed like an invisible God and asked Jesus to come into my heart and my life. In that moment, something happened that made me know God’s presence and love are very real because, for the first time, I did not feel alone.
As I began to get to know the Lord and walk with Him, I thought I would never have to fight that feeling of loneliness again. But I was wrong!
Truthfully, this current season has been the hardest of my life. Five years ago, I was given an eight-week death sentence due to Stage 4 cancer. Soon after that, my marriage fell apart, my adult kids moved across the country, and my mother — whom I did not know very well growing up — was also diagnosed with cancer and came to live with me so I could care for her.
In my darkest hour, God gave me what I needed most: divine healing in my heart, in my mind and in my spirit. I supplemented the work the Holy Spirit was doing with the help of a professional Christian counselor and received relief from my loneliness because I was connected to Christ in the right way.
One of the most beautiful things I’ve discovered during this healing season is that God draws close to the brokenhearted because He knows how hard it is for us to draw close to Him when we’re brokenhearted.
In the midst of my deepest heartache, God has somehow given me what I’ve longed for the most: relief from loneliness, a relief that brings joy and contentment in Him. Honestly, it was hard to see the Holy Spirit at work until I was forced to be totally alone and had no one else to run to but my Savior!
I never want to downplay the heartache that comes with this life because I know it well. I don’t want to simplify a connection with the Creator of the universe. Yet the vine Jesus refers to in John 15:4 is sort of like a Wi-Fi connection — it's always there, but it’s of no benefit to us until we connect to it.
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.” (John 15:4)
It took a while for me to fully surrender to the only one who will never leave me or forsake me. The Lord revealed to me through my many tears that the reason I felt alone was because I was relying more on God’s people than on God. To find relief from my loneliness, I needed to spend time with God alone!
The fact of the matter is, He was there for me all along, like a Wi-Fi connection, lovingly and patiently waiting for me to connect my heart, mind and spirit to His heavenly vine: Christ alone!
Though my entire life as I knew it was completely dismantled, today I have joy and am healing, and I am not dependent on other people or circumstances to feel connected. I know that there is a Savior who gave His life to connect with me now and forever, so I walk out my faith on an even stronger foundation — one that can’t be shaken.
Dear God, sometimes I feel far from You, or I fight to find a way to connect with You. I pray that I will feel Your touch today. Reveal Yourself to me in a whole new way, and open my eyes to be able to see Your work in my life. Open my heart to receive all the love You want to pour into me, and open my spirit that I would feel that beautiful connection to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Revelation 3:20, “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” (NLT)
RELATED RESOURCES:
Our Savior paid much too high a price on the cross for us to live powerless lives. Draw near to God through His Word with Tyndale’s THRIVE Devotional Bible for Women, which is available in regular or wide-margin editions.
CONNECT:
Sheri Rose Shepherd is the bestselling author of the His Princess books. She is also a beloved speaker, an online Bible life coach and the author of the THRIVE Bible devotional content. Sheri Rose would love to connect with you! She is also available for speaking events.
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REFLECT AND RESPOND:
Is there something in your life that is making you feel disconnected from God? Stop and pray. Ask the Holy Spirt to show you.
© 2021 by Sheri Rose Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries thanks Tyndale House Publishers for their sponsorship of today’s devotion.
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