My Emptiness, His Presence
BEN LOCKE
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“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
Sometimes, or maybe often, I'm fed up with the circumstances I’m being forced to endure and begin to feel hopeless about God’s ability to bring good from them.
Suffering, grief, mourning, loss, pain — with every passing moment, I feel like I’m being consumed, eyes open or closed. No rest. No peace. Joy sparse and freedom far away.
I want to curse — or do I want to cry? I want to yell — or do I want to run away?
In these moments, words can’t console me, distractions can’t relieve me, and worldly comforts can’t reassure me. If I try to speak, nothing comes out. If I try to pray, the sorrows silence my heart. If I try to move, my legs refuse to carry me.
My worldly reality brings me to my knees, bones brittle and head hanging low. Then the Spirit of God envelops me like a gentle wind.
I’m not reprimanded for feeling the weight of my afflictions. Instead, I’m met in the pit of sorrow and held by the Lord. I’m no longer alone. I no longer need to speak, recite a prayer or move myself elsewhere. I no longer require words, distractions or worldly comforts. The Spirit grieves alongside me, groans with me, mourns beside me, and surrounds me with the indescribable fullness of God’s presence.
Here, I’m reminded of the true and fullest form of my relationship with the Lord. In my hopelessness, He beckons me to have faith. At the end of myself, He begins to work. In my emptiness, He promises to fill me up. My helpless condition is the very reason He sent His Son to die for me, to resurrect for me. My moment of total despair is His offer for total union. My moment of complete imperfection is His design for complete grace.
My flesh and soul crave assurance that the Creator of the universe is so near to me in my brokenness that His breath is my breath. My pain is His pain, my sorrows are His sorrows, and my burdens are His burdens. He lowers Himself from the highest throne of the universe to the lowest depths of my humanity and says:
“I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
His promise isn’t to change my condition nor to give me the answer or outcome I so desperately crave. His promise is Himself — a promise that I cannot wander far enough, descend deep enough, or suffer painfully enough to be separated from Him and His love (Romans 8:35-39).
And that is more than enough.
Almighty Father, merciful Creator, draw near to me in my sorrows. I give myself — all of myself — to You. My pain, worries, anxieties, emotions and suffering — I lay it all at Your feet and cling to the promise of Your presence. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
Where do you turn in seasons of despair? What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Hardship and adversity touch everyone — illness, grief, accidents, trauma, loneliness, relationship struggles, financial crises, sin, addiction, life stressors and so much more can make us feel lost and hopeless. In Ben Locke’s new book, In Our Suffering, Lord Be Near, he recounts his own story of suffering and God’s grace. Order your copy now!
ENGAGE
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FOR DEEPER STUDY
Psalm 84:2, “My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God” (NIV).
Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (NIV).
Do you ever withhold from the Lord for the sake of coming to Him as a polished, finished, put-together version of yourself?
Whatever you are facing right now, whether through tears or anger, confusion or despair, consider the invitation to cry out to God honestly and vulnerably with the expectation that He will meet you in it.
Share your thoughts with us in the comments!
© 2024 by Ben Locke. All rights reserved.</
Proverbs 31 Ministries
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Matthews, NC 28106
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