When You Can’t Change Them
By Kelly Balarie
Bible Reading:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” – Isaiah 55:8 NIV
If I told him once, I told him a thousand times…
“You need to do this…”
“You have to do that…”
“Why aren’t you meeting me, as I help you?”
“One can tee up the ball for someone to succeed, but if you don’t get up there and hit the ball – there’s nothing that can be done.”
What do you do when people don’t do what you want them to do?
Frankly, after all this pleading I’d fallen into, I felt exasperated and winded by all the constant convincing. Ever been there?
Maybe you are trying to encourage your husband to get a new job. Maybe you are trying to help a child get more motivated to study. Maybe you are trying to reach a relative for Jesus. Maybe you are wanting a family member to stop a destructive or addictive behavior.
The agony of seeing another’s way when they can’t see it is torturous.
What do we do, here, as a believer, when we believe in someone more than they do?
By the prompting of the Holy Spirit, within my heart right now, I know the first thing we must do is this: repent of pride. Ouch. As much as it hurts me to write this, because I know my heart is in the right place, it is wrong for me to think I know someone else’s best way when God may have for them another way, a longer way, a prayerful way, or an overcomers way.
God’s way is always the best way. He is the Potter; we are the clay. He is the Creator; we are the created ones.
With this, as we are praying and yielding to God at work, we can trust His way, even if the grand roll-out to His solution takes time and great patience.
Someone once told me, when I was going through a hard time with my husband, “Kelly, get out of God’s way.”
The best way is always God’s way, not our own conceived way. The more I move away or bend down, the more God can move in, show up, and show off. He has a different way, than what I think is the best way.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” (Isaiah 55:8 NIV)
Only God knows a person’s best way because He alone is their Maker. He alone is the Author of their story. He alone is the Finisher of what He is working out.
When all is said and done, if we are praying and yielding, we can go about trusting God to work out His best end for them. We may not be able to fix every moment or to save them from disaster, but we can know God will work out His best plan. God will not put us to shame.
Is it hard to trust God, no doubt. But is He faithful? Always.
Not only is He faithful to help them, but He is faithful to reform us – into the image of Christ, as we are full of patience, love, mercy, and the grace of God.
God knows what He is doing. He has the whole world, including all those we love, in the palm of His hand. We can trust Him.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
What person’s action is outside of your control? How have you tried to manage or control this behavior? Why is that a useless cause? How might God be calling you to trust Him to fight this battle? What would it look like to fight this battle in prayer?
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/fizkes
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