Use Your Tongue to Uplift Others
By Michelle Lazurek
Bible Reading
“With the tongue, we praise our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse human beings who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” James 3:9-10
In our marriage, our routine is to ask each other how our days are when we come home at night. We talk about both the highs and lows of our day. Because my husband's a pastor, I often hear the good and the bad of church life. But as the months wore on, we quickly realized that we were talking more about life's lows than the highs.
Although we needed each other to talk to, the more we complained, the easier it became to complain. Soon, each day brought nothing but complaints. Finding the good in any situation we were involved in was difficult.
One day, we prayed together and asked God to change our hearts regarding our view of our days. We chose to see the good and the positive in people and our situations rather than the bad. Although we needed each other to process through pain and analyze situations from various perspectives, it was not good for our spiritual life or marriage to constantly complain to each other about our work.
We asked God to change our perspectives and see life through a positive rather than a negative lens. It was not easy at first since we had gotten into such a bad habit of complaining. But the more we chose to see the positive each day rather than the negative, the easier it became. Within a month, we came home and emphasized the positive rather than the negative.
Studies show that the more we complain, our brains are rewired to think negative thoughts. When those thoughts go unchecked, they change our hearts. Once full of hope and optimism, our hearts are soon clouded with negativity and malice. We soon start to change how we see the people around us. Seeing the people we once saw as positive becomes more negative because of our critical spirits.
Hypercritical people are often hypocritical people. This is because we are to be Christ's examples. Yet, when we spend time complaining rather than looking at the positive side of things, we view our world with pessimism and despair rather than optimism and hope. Although it is essential to see our world in a good way, we must emphasize the positive things in life.
Our words carry weight. When you speak to the people around you, are you the first to give a critical word? Are you someone people know is safe because they know you will give them a word of encouragement?
Although it is essential to speak the truth plainly to people and to help people in their lives by pointing out their sins so they can be better people, we don't want to be people who are only known for what we are against rather than what we are for. We need to strike a good balance between how much we complain and how much we encourage.
If we complain more than we encourage, we tend to use our tongues for cursing rather than building up our brothers and sisters. If we tend to criticize too much, we will be tuned out because we will be seen as overly critical people who only speak negative words rather than positive ones.
If you find you are using your tongue to curse rather than build up, there's hope. For the next seven days, seek only to say positive things to people. When you feel tempted to give a negative word, change it into a positive. If you have difficulty with this, pray and ask God to help tame your tongue.
Seek to positively influence your spouses, children, and family's lives. You will not only help them and build them up, but it will also change your attitude and help you see life with gratitude and hope rather than despair and pessimism.
Father, let us be people who choose to use our tongues for good rather than evil. Let us, God, not curse our brothers and sisters but build them up, saying what may benefit them. Please help us be people who reflect you by giving people the hope that's in you. Amen.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
In what way are you using your tongue to curse others? What steps can you take today to help you change negative words into positive ones?
Further Reading:
Ephesians 4:29
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