The Empty Promise of Retaliation
By Ashley Moore
“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” 1 Peter 3:9, NLT
A family member, deeply wronged by her husband, decided revenge would be better than forgiveness. I understand her desire for retaliation, but her choice to "get even" only further strained and deepened the riff in her marriage. We all fall for the empty promise of retaliation sometimes, don’t we? We delight in zooming past the creeping car in the left lane as if that could make up for our lost time. We seek justice from the spouse who forgot something important by giving them the silent treatment. Or we continue to believe we will feel better if we hurt people as they've hurt us.
But when we choose those actions, do we ever truly feel better? Does the outcome deliver what we think it promises? Maybe we get some sort of temporary gratification, but it is fleeting. Retaliation never completely takes away the pain of the injustice we experience. Is justice right and good, when it's handled God’s way? Absolutely! But in our hands, justice is an emotional reaction that will only produce another injustice. It never has the power to heal our wounds. What could it look like for us to refuse to take the bait of the empty promise of retaliation and instead do what God has called us to do?
Think Through the Choice to Retaliate.
At the height of an emotional moment, acting first and thinking later is easy. But oftentimes, our impulsive actions can leave us filled with regret. Before taking action, it’s wise to consider the ways a situation could go. Could we make things worse? Will the temporary satisfaction we receive from payback result in a lifetime of regret? Taking time to think through our choices is always a good idea. And if we find ourselves repeatedly in the same types of circumstances this may mean we need to take a deeper look. Is this an emotional trigger that exposes old wounds, and ultimately misplaced anger? These types of reactions are often indicators of old pain points that need attention and care.
Remember the Gospel.
Whether we are not yet Christians, new believers, or seasoned saints, we never outgrow our need to be reminded of the gospel. Remembering Christ sacrificed His life on the cross for our sins and the sins of others reminds us that retaliation is not ours to give, but forgiveness is. The gospel is our power source over sin. The gospel is the reason we can forgive because we know Jesus will right the score, vindicating the righteous, and punishing the unjust. Remembering the hope we have in the gospel is our weapon against the empty promises of retaliation.
Before we react to something that hurts or offends by choosing or retaliating against the person who hurt us, let us do something else first. Let’s work to think through our choice by playing it out in our minds to see if it will achieve the desired result. And let us apply the truth of the gospel to the situation. If either of these two options reveals our choice to retaliate doesn’t hold, then may we have the strength to respond as God has called us to and receive His blessing instead.
Intersecting Life and Faith:
When choosing between retaliation or forgiveness, before getting emotional, take time to think through the different ways to react and the coinciding outcomes. Look for trends from events in the past. Apply the gospel to each situation.
Further Reading:
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