Parenting to the Masses
By Meg Bucher
“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” – Ephesians 2:8-9
Crap. My kid made a mistake. A big mistake. Oh, no. She said what to who?! My kid is acting like the mean kid?! Wait a minute, what did she say? Were they just discussing my kid without using names? Uh, huh, they forgot I was standing here! Didn’t mean to let that one slip, did they? Oh, here we go… let’s hear how many amazing things your kid did yesterday and then prep my face for when you ask me what my kid is doing and I respond… um, being a kid.
If any or all the inner monologue above sound familiar, congratulations and welcome to the world of parenting. It’s not for the faint of heart, and none of us have thick skin.
Do you ever feel like everyone is watching you parent? Not just on social media… I feel like our critical eye for comparison has left the proverbial building ...er ...screen and is bleeding all over actual lives. The circle of judgment is real, and if we let it creep into our bloodstream, we will find ourselves parenting to the masses by seeking approval on social media and in social circles.
Parents were placed on purpose by God. He doesn’t make mistakes, and He isn’t in the business of coincidences.
The more we walk with the Lord, the more we see people like the Lord. It doesn’t mean everything everyone does is OK… that’s society’s jam, not God’s. Love is our language. Love is God’s language. It’s His jam. He loves us despite of ourselves. He knows we’ll never get it completely right, but His love for us in unaffected. Gosh, I wish parents could give each other some love like that.
Intersecting of Faith and Life:
Loving Jesus doesn’t make parenting easier, but it does get us through it in one piece!
Our kids are going to mess up because they are kids. One of the wisest people my husband and I know told us years ago, it’s more ideal for kids to make mistakes while they are still living at home. Teachable moments are valuable opportunities to layer wisdom into our children’s lives. It’s not going to be a smooth ride, this parenting jam, but it’s going to be full of joy! Because it’s all on purpose for a purpose greater than us!
We are all imperfect. Laugh about with each other while you’re crying about it together, while you’re mortified about it together. Relationships will be wrecked, messes will be made, and things we dreamed for our kids may not come true. But God’s plans will.
Parenting to the masses, for Christians, means loving each other in a very loud way. When someone is talking about a kid who messed up and scoffing at the parents, interject. It’s my favorite thing to do. “Oh, I remember when my kid did this stupid thing… I was mortified! But we’ve got to give them grace, right? Their kids. I mess stuff up all the time and thank God… He gives me grace.” Then I laugh and smile, and since it’s my natural reaction to all things for better or for worse, no one thinks anything of it.
Parenting to the masses, for those in Christ, means extending grace… for everyone, and ourselves. All the parents and all the kids. Grace. So. Much. Grace. Be that way …as often as you can be. Because when someone tramples all over your kid and your head is about to roll off your neck, you will need someone to remind you about grace, too. And to take a deep breath …and maybe get off social media for a while.
Following Jesus isn’t the easy road. Christians, we know to train them up the way they should go, but we’re all a little terrified at the prospect they might go a different way. Hold onto the truth. If you train them up the way they should go, they won’t stray from it. And then, let go of what you think that looks like, and hold onto Jesus with a death grip.
Find friends who will pray and empathize with you when parenting gets real… and kids are in MIDDLE SCHOOL... are precious gifts from heaven. Lord, almighty. Jesus come soon. Don’t worry, He is. And until then, I promise you, the people you need and the God you serve will get you through it. Let’s pray,
Father,
You’re incredibly patient to deal with all our mess down here on earth, and we are so thankful for Your faithfulness. We love You, and ask You for SO MUCH HELP God, as we navigate parenthood. Give us grace, God, and help us to give grace to our kids, and to other parents… and their kids. Especially when other kids wrong ours, God, help us to stay focused on grace and forgiveness. Teach us about boundaries and help us to represent You well on this earth… so that other parents know…when their kids mess up, and they mess up …You have grace for them to. Help us spread Gospel love.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Further Reading:
Provers 22:6
James 4:6
Ephesians 1:7
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/digitalskillet
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