How to Love Anyone
By Whitney Hopler
“‘A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” – John 13:34-35 NIV
A prayer retreat leader encouraged us to turn to the person sitting next to us – even if it was someone we had never met before – and say “I love you” to that person. My pulse began racing at the thought. I hadn’t even greeted or made eye contact with the stranger next to me. Suddenly, she was embracing me in a spontaneous bear hug and saying she loved me. I hesitated to respond, wondering how I could express love to her without knowing her and how she could do the same without knowing me. Although I struggled, I wanted to accept the challenge. So, I told her, “I love you too,” and returned her embrace. Immediately, a warm feeling washed over me, as if simply saying those words had moved me closer to truly feeling love for her.
“God loves us all completely and unconditionally,” our retreat leader told us. “The best way we can grow spiritually is to learn how to love God, love ourselves, and love each other more.” Her words reminded me of what Jesus says in Matthew 22:37-39 NIV, when he replies to a teacher who asked him about which commandment is most important: “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
As I practiced expressing love for other people I didn’t know at the retreat, I found the same dynamic happening. I first expressed love and then felt love for them after that. Each time that happened, I thought of how every human being is a beloved soul made in God’s image. Even people I didn’t know or people I knew but didn’t like were worthy of my love because God loves them. Even when I made mistakes and felt unlovable, I was worthy of other people’s love because God loves me. God doesn’t put barriers on love. If I wanted to love like God does, I realized I must choose to act in love no matter what.
Love is more than just a feeling. It’s an action. When we choose to act in love toward others, we welcome God – the source of all love – to send his love flowing through our lives.
Thankfully, God will help us act in love. We never have to wait until we feel like loving someone to actually do so. Instead, we can simply choose to love, out of gratitude for how God chooses to love us no matter what. We can make the choice that Jesus urges us to make – to love one another as he loves us. Then we can trust him to help us carry out that choice. Since Mark 10:27 NIV tells us that “… all things are possible with God”, it’s possible to love anyone. God will give us love for others whenever we choose to love.
Intersecting Faith and Life:
As you reflect on how to love anyone, consider these questions:
- How does choosing to love someone no matter what reflect God’s character?
- What would it be like for you to walk up to a stranger and say, “I love you.”?
- Think about some difficult people you know. How hard does it seem to love them, with all their flaws?
- When were you in a situation recently where it was challenging to choose love? How did you handle it, and what could you do differently the next time you’re in a similar situation?
- Consider some times when you’ve felt unlovable yourself – maybe after you’ve made mistakes or after others have been unkind to you. How does it feel to know that God loved you at those times anyway?
- What are some practical ways you can plan to put love into action this week?
Further Reading:
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Natali_Mis
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