How Can I Live a Life Freed from Self-Comparison?
By Vivian Bricker
“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” – 2 Corinthians 10:12
Ever since I was a teen, I have struggled with self-comparison. Maybe it is rooted in being the youngest of three girls or being bullied in school, but I have always seemed to struggle in this area of my life. Never feeling good enough and never measuring up to others has taken a massive toil on my self-worth, self-view, and self-esteem. Maybe you have also struggled with self-comparison and you have seen the damage it can do to your overall well-being.
God does not want us to live a life where we feel we always have to “measure up” to others. Already as we are, we are dearly loved by God Himself (John 3:16-17). We don't need to doubt our worth or value because in Christ, we are more than enough (Colossians 2:9-10). This means that we are already loved, good enough, and worthy of every good thing.
As Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:12, we do not need to compare ourselves to others. In fact, Paul says it is unwise to do so. Rather than comparing ourselves to others, we need to look at what God already says about us. From the Bible, we are told we are wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalm 139:13-16). By this very fact, we know that we are amazing, wonderful, and beautiful just as we are.
The only way to truly let go of self-comparison is to trust what God says about us in the Bible. The world is full of sin and our own thoughts can be distorted by what the world has tried to tell us. Instead of listening to the lies of the world, we can turn to God. Leave all of your comparison at the feet of Jesus and know that He will help you walk this road.
Self-comparison is not part of the abundant life Jesus died for you to have (John 10:10). The abundant life Jesus has given us is rooted in love, grace, and mercy. We need to echo these same truths into our own life. The Bible tells us we are to love others as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39). How can we do this if we are never extending true grace, mercy, and love to ourselves?
Intersecting Faith & Life:
Your true identity is found in Jesus. In him, you are loved, cherished, and adored. If you have struggled for a long time with self-comparison, this can be hard to accept, but just give yourself time. Take more time to be in the Word and reflect on His love for you.
The old saying “comparison is the thief of joy” is true as self-comparison will only steal away all of your happiness, joy, and confidence. You don't need to compare ourselves to others or feel as though you need to “measure up” to others. You are already good enough and loved just as you are.
While God will consistently be molding us to reflect His Son, never does He want us to change who we are. Nowhere in the Bible are we told that God wants us to abandon our unique personalities, traits, or skills. Instead, we need to use them for God’s glory. Everyone is different and everyone has their own unique gifts.
As the body of believers, we need to help others discover their talents and gifts, as well as to build them up. In the same way, we need to be thankful for our own unique traits and skills, and use them to serve God in our daily lives. Choose to let go of self-comparison today and allow God to help you see the beauty of you.
There is no joy if you are always trying to change who you are or trying to measure up to a social standard. Throughout this upcoming week, try to think of a few ways to challenge yourself to change self-comparison to self-compassion. A few ways you can do this could be:
- Speak kindly to yourself
- Don't compare yourself to others on social media or in real life
- Whenever a self-comparison thought comes up, allow yourself to feel it and then to let it pass
Self-comparison can be a chronic problem if it is not dealt with. Do your best to hand these feelings and thoughts over to Jesus and He will carry them. The Lord gives us this promise, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
Further Reading:
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