Why It Matters That We Honor Our Parents
By Laura Bailey
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3 NIV
Paul’s gift of connecting orthodoxy (doctrine) to orthopraxy (how to apply) is one of the reasons I love the book of Ephesians. Paul informs his audience about what they believe and guides them to a deeper understanding of why that matters and how that should change how they live.
The first half of Ephesians is “informational training,” and the second half is “on-the-job training.” In chapter 6, Paul shares specific ways Christians should live, applying the truths he spoke about in previous chapters. Paul outlines how we can live like Christ's followers—specifically, in these verses, in our homes.
We see a brief set of instructions for children in our key verses, Ephesians 6:1-3. It’s important to note that Paul speaks to children who still live in the home and are under their parent’s authority. While the biblical principles Paul addresses, such as godly obedience, apply to children of all ages— in terms of submission and being under parental authority, these instructions aren’t directed towards the adult children/parental dynamic.
Growing up in church, I often heard that God desires children to obey their parents. These verses were usually used to encourage good behavior, focusing on a child's outward actions rather than the inward heart’s motivation—which is what Paul is addressing here.
Paul shares that children are to exhibit godly obedience, one that is not rooted in blind submission but in the heart’s desire to submit to the Lord and those whom the Lord places in authority over their lives. The family dynamic between parental authority and child submission is an allegory for the relationship we all should have with our Father in Heaven.
Why should children obey their parents? Because it’s the right thing to do! Paul drives home the point that children following their parents' instructions isn’t just a suggestion; it’s an expectation. Yes, there will be times, countless times, when it will be difficult to submit to their leadership. Parents often give instructions, guidelines, and rules that are difficult for children to digest; they want to know why, and it’s in our human nature to rebel against authority.
But Paul gave this command under the premise that parents love and protect their children and that children obey them until they live independently.
Paul then speaks about honoring our fathers and mothers, which refers to the 5th commandment (Exodus 20:12), which states, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you." The fifth commandment is the first one that comes with a promise—precisely when it was first given, the promise was to the children of Israel that they would live a long, blessed life in the promised land. However, in a broader application for us today, children who respect and honor their parents will likely have an easier time in life, as obeying our parents is the cornerstone of understanding submission to authority.
It’s important to note that honoring our parents doesn't guarantee that we will live to be 100 years old, be rich, or have a life of ease. Instead, the promise shows us that the Lord both commands and rewards us to respect those in authority over us. We will experience less conflict, division, and personal strife—and ultimately, we will experience our eternal reward in Heaven.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
Take some time and read through Ephesians chapter 6; if you can, read through the verses in different translations of the Bible. Have you ever noticed that “instructions for Christian households” come right before Paul encourages us to put on the armor of God? Why do you think this? How might a firm understanding of the first half of chapter 6 prepare us to receive Paul’s closing remarks?
Further Reading:
Ephesians 6
3 Reasons for Tensions Between Adult Children and Parents
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Sam Edwards
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com
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