Getting over Deep Rejection
By Kelly Balarie
Bible Reading
“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” – Ephesians 1:4 NIV
I wasn’t thrown off by her tendency not to respond to me for days. It wasn’t necessarily her slight put down of my God-given gift. Neither was it the fact that she prayed a prayer that seemed all wrong, too. It also wasn’t her monotone, uninterested tone of voice…
Nope. Every time, I chose to forgive these small offenses and carry on in love. I prayed for her. I waited on the Lord. But, my friends, then came a day when everything changed... This day? This day, she rejected me in a more meaningful way – and this time – well, this is where the house of cards (aka. my patience) hit the floor.
I can’t say I’m proud of it, either. All my forgiveness went by the wayside, and I moved into a verbal unloading on her because she did it again!
How dare you…
Don’t you even know…
That’s not right…
Have you ever experienced small slight upon small slight until one day, another small slight knocks your patience over like a house of cards? Have you ever unloaded pent-up anger? Has one small offense after another ever made you angry?
In my case, each isolated issue seemed too trivial to address. So, I forgave each one and carried on in love. Yet, over time, like one thousand little papercuts, I started to feel my insides get more and more raw. It was becoming exhausting to keep excusing and bearing up under the steady flow of these things…
And this is why – even though I wanted to be like Jesus… in the end – I wasn’t.
This is also what I wanted to take a deeper look at myself with the Lord. Why did I end up verbally unloading? Why, like a stray, little puppy dog, did I keep subjecting myself to continual mistreatment? Why couldn’t I let go of this woman who was hurtful?
After prayer and time with God, I realized I had fallen into a massive trap. You see, I believed her actions were a proclamation or a reflection of me.
In this, it became a pursuit to win her over. She should want me so I can be a person who is wanted. I should get her to accept me, so I could feel accepted. I should be invited, to be a person who is included. I must be needed, to feel worthy.
Ick! Hit by a bag of spiritual bricks, I realized: I was getting my worth, from her, more than from God.
The thought turned my stomach.
I took so personally, what she did, that I permitted her to define me, more than God. I feared man more than the Lord. I exalted her actions more than God’s truth. I let her move me more than the firm reality of how God sees me.
God’s Word says, “For (God) chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” – Ephesians 1:4 NIV
The truth is we are not slaves to what people think about us, say about us, or how they treat us.
The real truth is:
We are chosen.
Holy.
In Christ.
Blameless.
In His sight.
Thought of before the creation of the world.
No man on earth, no power of hell, can remove us from the strong-as-steel love God has for us. No one can steal this fact unless we let them.
If we look to man to define us, we become insecure. If we look to circumstances to make us, we become unstable. If we look to people’s actions to assure us, we become apprehensive. But, when we look at scripture to define us, and God’s Word that makes us, we become unwavering in faith and we flourish with hope.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
Who, or what, is defining you? Just as much as a person’s actions can try to make declarations over us, so can hard experiences. My friends, let’s all let nothing define us but God’s truth from the Word of God! Take a moment to dig into God’s Word to see what His truths say about you.
Photo Credit: Nik Shuliahin/Unsplash
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Related Resource: How Habit Stacking Will Help You Discipline Your Mind, Body, & Spirit
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