Feeling Lonely or Rejected? Remember This Promise of God
By Keri Eichberger
For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law. (Romans 3:28)
Neglected, overlooked, misunderstood, dismissed. I felt every one of these. To tears. And not at the fresh age of fourteen–yet that too–but in the past seven days, at the supposed wiser age of forty-four. And on multiple occasions. In the presence of the people I love, and I thought loved me, the most. I confessed this in empathy to my teen daughter this past weekend over a late-night high emotion chat. She’d been feeling lonely lately in a social lull while other friends seemed to be carrying on the good ole times with full schedules of fun. Through her hurting heart, she wondered out loud if she was liked, accepted?
The night before, my husband and I intercepted a passionate rant steaming off our 16-year-old. He’d been working his tail off. Why couldn’t the coaches see it? Why are the underclassmen ignoring my leadership? “Am I invisible?” He vented.
The sting of seeming rejection of the world pricking the souls of myself, my daughter, and my son. And let’s be honest, this pain has cut to the recesses of your hurting heart, each of ours, many moments in the past. Possibly even today.
Not so ironically, our pastor was in Romans Chapter Three this very weekend preaching about “acceptance.” Does God accept me? was the question of focus. Along with the question, Does so-and-so (the world) accept me?, deep down we also want to know that we are acceptable in the eyes of God.
I want to address both perspectives, saving the best for last.
First, the world. The people around us, woven into our everydays, that we long for approval and acceptance from. Keeping this one short and to the point, we will never fully satisfy and fill the expectations of others. Because it isn’t our job to. The hard truth is—though we want to be accepted by the world—we need to get out of the business of this focus. If you just so happen to please someone and find yourself feeling appreciated and approved of, that’s wonderful, praise our good God. It will certainly happen like this from time to time. But, just like you and I aren’t perfect, no other soul is either. They likely have inner battles that no one knows anything about. People will fail people. Some of them may never approve of you. And for no good reason. Even if they appear to accept everyone else—though that’s likely just a facade, or the enemy twisting your perspective. Bottom line, people are people. They are broken and sinful, just like you and me, and we can’t control them.
All of this to say, the second and real question you should ask is this… Does God approve? Does God accept you? “You” at your seeming best, and "You” at what feels like much less. The answer is Yes. Equally, Yes. I love the GOD’S WORD translation of Romans 3:28 which reads, “We conclude that a person has God's approval by faith, not by his own efforts.” Hear that again. By faith, not our efforts. This reminds me, there is nothing I can do but place my faith in God (through Jesus Christ) to receive the approval I seek. It is by our faith alone, that we are indeed accepted. Based on zero efforts of my own. A free gift. That we 100% can not earn. Isn’t that the best news? Just let this truth sink in when you’re disappointed by your perceptions or obsessing over what you might say or do to gain favor in the eyes of your friends, family, teammates, coaches, colleagues, inlaws, or anyone.
A few chapters later, we are reminded that absolutely nothing separates us from God’s love. (Romans 8:38-39) Beloved child of God, you are not just approved of, you are also perfectly loved and adored. And nothing, no one, can take that away.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
Friend, you may have lately listened to lies, and found yourself feeling unaccepted, neglected, rejected, overlooked, or unseen. But toss out those lies. Only God speaks the absolute truth. Listen to him. He says you are accepted, never rejected, always seen, and certainly so loved.
Take some time today, right now if you would, to remember, it’s not the world’s approval that we are after. It’s the Lord’s, alone. And you’ve got it. Because you accepted Jesus, the Almighty loving father unconditionally accepts you.
Let’s pray… Lord Jesus, So often we question if we are acceptable to those around us. But Lord, this world is broken, and though we may be loved by many, we will never find perfect approval from the world. Please help us shift our focus to you. Help us remember that we are always accepted by you, and that only your approval matters. Remind us that the day we accepted you as our Lord and Savior, you accepted each of us with open arms. Unconditionally, indefinitely, and perfectly. Thank you for your love and grace. In your Name we pray, Amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Sinenkiy
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