Avoiding Toxic Talk at Thanksgiving
By Vivian Bricker
Bible Reading
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
Thanksgiving is known to be a holiday where food is a major theme. We meet together with family and friends to enjoy each other’s company and have a nice, homemade meal. Unfortunately, due to the prevalent diet culture in the world today, it is not hard to hear a family member comment on our food choices, our weight loss, or our weight gain. Any of these comments have the capacity to ruin our holiday.
Sadly, there is almost always one family member who will be problematic and extremely engulfed in diet culture. As someone who has recovered from anorexia nervosa, I can share with you that holiday functions are terribly difficult. Whenever I see someone I have not seen in a while, they always feel like they have to comment on my weight. “Oh, you’ve gained weight!” Whether it is in a positive way or not, it is hurtful.
The best thing to do is to avoid toxic talk at Thanksgiving and all other get-togethers. Don’t comment on people’s food choices, how much they eat, how little they eat, if they gained weight, or if they lost weight. If you praise someone for their weight loss, you might be praising an eating disorder. If you condemn someone’s weight gain, you might be condemning healing.
Rather than talking about diets, body size, or food choices, why don’t we talk about the things that actually matter? Talking about Jesus, what we are going through in life, or someone new we met are all better things to talk about. Thanksgiving is a stressful holiday for many people, especially those who are struggling with an eating disorder and even those who are in recovery or recovered from an eating disorder.
Even if you think nobody in your family has struggled with an eating disorder, it is best to still not comment on body size, weight, or food choices. Sadly, most women struggle with restriction or weight concerns, at least on some level. Due to toxic beauty standards, most women try to restrict their food intake and/or overexercise in order to look a certain way. Therefore, it is best to avoid all toxic talk and choose to create positive memories.
In everything, we need to treat others the way we want to be treated (Luke 6:31). If we don’t want someone commenting on our body size or weight, we don’t need to comment on others' body size or weight. Talking about body size or weight can be very detrimental, even if we think we are encouraging them. Choose to be kind, caring, and compassionate by staying away from any diet culture talk or unnecessary comments.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
The Apostle Paul tells us, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). As Paul informs us in this passage, we don’t need to let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths (diet culture talk, toxic talk, body comments, etc.). We only need to build others up in order to help them. This means we only say things that are helpful, encouraging, and kind.
Each time we are tempted to say something at Thanksgiving or at any event, we need to run our words or comments through Ephesians 4:29. If they are not in agreement with God’s Word, then we need to refrain from saying them. By ignoring God’s teachings in Ephesians 4:29, we could cause much harm to loved ones in our lives. Choose to do the right thing and only use your words to build others up, not to tear them down.
Building others up looks like avoiding anything hurtful and only saying things that will benefit the listener. Jesus appreciates when we go out of our way to build others up. However, Jesus is not pleased when we tear others down and hurt them with our words. If we do this, we must remember that God will repay everyone according to what they have done (Romans 2:6). Therefore, I encourage you to build others up in the Lord, be kind, and show compassion.
Further Reading:
Romans 14:19
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Hebrews 3:13
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Drazen Zigic
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