Leaving a church can be a daunting task; however, sometimes the best thing for us to do is to leave. There is a myriad of reasons why an individual may choose to leave a church. It could be the church started going in a different direction or the pastor stopped preaching in accordance with God’s Word.
Sadly, in this day and age, it is not uncommon for an individual to leave a church because of physical, emotional, or spiritual abuse. As Christians, it is important for us to know the biblical way to leave a church.
Leaving the Church
“You know when it's time to go” is a lyric from Taylor Swift’s song “It’s Time to Go” off her album titled Evermore. Even though Swift’s lyrics have a different meaning than leaving a church, these lyrics can still resonate with anyone who is ready to leave a church.
When a person knows it is time to leave a church, then it is probably time to leave. Leaving a church does not necessarily mean an individual is leaving the faith. Simply because a person leaves the church does not mean they are forfeiting their salvation.
If a person leaves a church, their salvation is not affected. This is because salvation is based on grace through faith in Christ (Ephesians 2:8-9). Once a person has placed faith in Christ, they are forever and eternally saved.
It is not possible for a person to lose their salvation because salvation is based on Jesus’ finished word on the cross and a person’s faith in Him. Leaving a church does not mean you are leaving the faith. There are many different reasons why a person may select to leave a church.
As stated above, the church could have gone in a different direction, the pastor may be preaching things that are not biblical, or any other reason could cause a person to want to leave a church. Simply switching churches to a church that is closer to their home may also be a reason why a person chooses to leave a church.
It is best not to judge someone if they decide to leave a church as you would not want somebody to judge you if you chose to leave a church. Before you decide that you are going to leave the church, you need to first test your heart motivation.
Ask yourself valid questions and answer yourself honestly. As I already mentioned above, there are many valid reasons as to why you may want to leave a church. Before you put your plan into place, consult God in prayer and listen to Him in His Word.
God never wants you to remain at a church that is preaching falsehoods, nor would He want you to stay at a church where everyone looks down on you. The church is supposed to be the body of believers who come together to worship the Lord.
Church is not meant to be a social event or an attempt to appear “religious” to others. If you have examined your heart motives and you have decided your heart is in the right motive, you can draft a letter to the church you are leaving and inform them about your decision to leave the church (Ibid.).
In your letter, be kind and considerate, but also be honest. Let them know why you are leaving the church. If they are not preaching and teaching biblical truths, write it in the letter. If the congregation has made you feel bad about yourself, include that in the letter too.
Whatever your reason or reasons are for leaving the church, write it down in your letter. After you have written your letter, mail it or drop it off at the church. If you would like, you can include your contact information if you want to talk to the pastor or other leaders in the church over your decision to depart.
However, if you do not want to speak to the pastor or the other leaders of the church, you do not have to. It is entirely up to you. Maybe letters are not your thing. If you would rather not write a letter, you could talk to the pastor or the other leaders of the church face to face (Ibid.).
If you're leaving the church because of simple matters, such as going to a church closer to your home or something like that, this could be a doable option and save you the time from having to write out a letter. On the other hand, if your reason for leaving the church is weightier, talking face-to-face may be too confrontational. Again, the choice is entirely up to you.
Always Be Kind
No matter what your reason is for leaving a church, being kind about it is always right. God wants us to be kind to others and forgive them (Ephesians 4:32). If the church you are leaving did something to hurt your feelings, it is time to forgive them. Also, you need to know that you are not alone.
Many people have to make the decision to leave a church for different reasons. Sometimes the best thing to do is to leave. If your church has been physically, verbally, or spiritually abusing you, that is not okay. If your church has done physical abuse to you, it is time to take it to your local police authorities.
Verbal and spiritual abuse are just as severe as physical abuse; however, most law enforcement officers will not take any action on verbal or spiritual abuse.
If you are a victim of verbal or spiritual abuse, take it before God in prayer. Ask Him to help you heal the wounds that the church has created. Ask Him to help you find a church that is biblically based and has a congregation of Christians who love the Lord. God will direct your paths and He will lead you where you are meant to go (Proverbs 3:5-6).
It might not be right away but give God time to guide you to a new church. While you are in the period of waiting for God to lead you to a new church, be consistent in prayer and try to visit some local churches near where you live.
If you do not feel comfortable with going in person at first, you can choose to tune in via live stream on the church’s home page or Facebook page. After watching or attending a few services, whether online or in-person, consult God in prayer to see if this is indeed where He wants you to become a member.
There again, you do not have to join the new church right away. Take your time and wait for the Lord’s guidance. He will answer you and He will guide you to the church that will appreciate your kindness and love for the Lord.
There is nothing wrong with leaving a church; however, whenever a person leaves a church, the person should be intentional about extending grace, kindness, and forgiveness to the church they are leaving.
For further reading:
Does the Bible Say Christians Have to Attend Church?
What Is Spiritual Abuse and How Can We Recognize it in the Church?
Why Is Shame Connected to the Church?
What Is the Meaning of the Body of Christ?
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