Abuse within church leadership has been known to happen in the past, and sadly, it still continues into the present day. In these difficult situations, Christians need to know how to respond to abuse within church leadership.
When Christians respond, we need to make sure we are responding in a way that glorifies God. Many different answers can come into our minds when we think of responding to abuse within the church, yet we need to make sure we respond in a way that brings glory to God.
Abuse within church leadership can manifest in a myriad of ways. Some examples of abuse within church leadership include a church leader gaslighting the congregation or a member of the congregation, sexual abuse of members of the congregation, or any other type of abuse, including verbal, physical, or emotional abuse.
Any type of abuse is never okay. If you have been the victim of abuse within the church, my heart goes out to you. I cannot even fathom the pain you are going through. Give all of your pain over to the Lord, and He will provide healing.
Healing from abuse that was inflicted by church leadership can be extremely difficult because we assume that church leaders are supposed to care for their flock, not harm them.
Abuse within church leadership is becoming more and more common in the modern-day. The #ChurchToo movement has received widespread publicity and has caused fear to grow in the hearts of individuals throughout the world.
The church is supposed to be a safe place where we go to worship the Lord with other believers. As soon as abuse happens within the church, we no longer feel safe or at ease. Due to abuse within the church, it is not uncommon for members to leave the church and join another church.
If this is what you have done after being abused by the leadership at your church, know that it is okay. You do not have any obligation to remain at a church where the church leadership has abused you in any way.
God does not call you to stay at a church under these circumstances. It is for your own physical and mental well-being to go to another church.
If a Christian has been the victim of abuse within church leadership or a Christian knows another member of the church that has been the victim of abuse within church leadership, the Christian needs to speak up. One should not keep quiet during these times.
Whether you are the one personally affected or another person was the one affected, it is crucial that you speak up about what happened. If a member of the church leadership is the one who is guilty of the abuse, talk to another trusted member of the leadership team.
For example, if a pastor is the one who abused you or someone you know, talk to a deacon or trusted leader. If multiple members of the church leadership were involved in the abuse, talk to other members of the congregation and inform them of the abuse that happened.
While it can be hard to openly speak about these things, it is important to bring these things into the light in order to stop the abuser or abusers.
Being abused within the realm of church leadership in your church is a matter you can bring before the police. If you have been the victim of sexual or physical abuse within the church, it is important for you to tell someone and take your case to the police.
Although the steps in bringing about justice in abuse cases are not always easy or even fair — victims are often retraumatized and even shamed by the defense — you might be able to help others from experiencing the same abuse and see that the abuser is convicted for their crimes.
In order to protect your own well-being and the well-being of others, consider speaking up to the police or your local law enforcement about the abuse you suffered and discuss any reservations you may feel in pressing charges and taking it to court.
Abuse is a deep-seated problem that can happen anywhere, including the home, school, or church. Even though these places should be safe, they are often breeding grounds for abuse. When these things happen, we have to know how to respond to the abuse within church leadership.
Our first thought could be to hold onto hate against the abuser and disgrace his or her name to the day we die, but this is not Christ-like. What they did to you was wrong, and your anger towards them is validated, but you should not hold onto that anger, hate, and bitterness inside of you.
No matter how angry you are at your abuser, hating them and holding bad feelings toward them will only hurt you. For your own well-being and to bring glory to God, you need to let these feelings go. Choose to forgive. Not for them, but for you.
Ephesians 4:32 tells us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiving them does not mean that what they did was okay, nor does it mean that what they did is forgotten.
Rather, forgiving means that you are giving the situation over to God. The Bible tells us that God will judge all of us for our wrongdoings, and not even church leadership can escape this fact (Hebrews 10:30).
Justice will prevail for you, but you must forgive your abuser. While this can be hard, it is vital in healing and moving past the situation.
Abuse within church leadership does not need to be taken lightly. Just because Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek does not mean we have to endure abuse from the church.
When Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:38-40), He is not telling us to let others walk all over us and abuse us.
As my professor used to tell my peers and me in undergrad, if a husband was walking with his wife through a park and a robber came up and harmed his wife and stole her purse, should the husband just stand by and allow the robber to hurt his wife and steal her purse?
No, he wouldn’t. The husband would stand up for his wife and protect her as best as he could. In the same way, when Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek, he is not referring to domestic, sexual, or emotional abuse.
Responding to abuse within church leadership can be extremely difficult as so much trust has been broken, and politics and a patriarchal society seem to come into the picture as well. Most likely, the abuser will try to plead innocence or try to come up with an elaborate story to explain the situation.
Even if a church leader tries to accuse you of lying, it is vital that you speak the truth and talk to the local authorities and the police about what happened.
While as Christians, we are to forgive, we should not allow an abuser to continue to walk the streets and do more harm to other Christians in the church. By responding in this way, we will be glorifying God in our actions and bringing justice to the church.
For further reading:
What Are the Signs of Spiritual Abuse in the Church?
What Are Modern Examples of a ‘Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing’?
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