Forgiveness is a central theme that we find in scripture. Our relationship with God is based on the fact God has forgiven our sins. Yet when it comes to forgiveness, I have discovered there are usually three areas people struggle with. (I have struggled with each one of them)
1. Receiving God’s forgiveness
2. Forgiving other people (Unforgiveness)
3. Forgiving ourselves
I don’t know which one is the most difficult to overcome. Wrestling with any of these can devastate your relationship with God and other people. For today, I want to deal with the issue of forgiving yourself. What does the Bible say about forgiving yourself? You need to pay close attention to this topic because the ramifications are that important.
What Does it Mean to Forgive Yourself?
According to Dictionary.com, here are some definitions of forgiveness.
- to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
- to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
- to grant pardon to (a person).
- to cease to feel resentment against.
- to cancel an indebtedness or liability of.
Using this definition of forgiveness, here is what it means to forgive yourself. When you forgive yourself, you are granting yourself a pardon or ceasing to feel resentment against yourself for something you have done wrong or sins you have committed. I want to be clear that forgiving yourself is not something that begins with you. Forgiving yourself is not a primary step but a secondary one and can only happen if certain prior conditions are met. Let me explain those conditions so you will know why you can and, ultimately, why you must forgive yourself.
What Does the Bible Say about Forgiving Yourself: The Reason You Can Do This
If forgiveness is ceasing to feel resentment against yourself for something you have done wrong, why are you able to forgive yourself? You can forgive yourself because God has forgiven you. This is the catalyst that puts you on the road to forgiving yourself. When you embrace the fact God has forgiven you, it can lead you to forgive yourself. God’s forgiveness is primary, and therefore forgiving yourself becomes secondary. As comforting as it is to know this, the challenge now becomes how you get to this place of forgiving yourself.
What Does the Bible Say about Forgiving Yourself: The Process
Allow me to share with you four steps that can bring you to this place where you can forgive yourself. I will caution you the steps may seem simple. However, in some cases, the process can take a long time. Part of it depends on the nature of the sin committed. Regardless, this is a process you can work through.
Step 1: Acknowledging the Sin
Any forgiveness begins with acknowledging the sin you committed. When you came to faith in Christ, you had to acknowledge you were a sinner in need of a savior. Even after you are saved, acknowledging your recent sin leads to seeking forgiveness.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-9)
Step 2: Repenting from the Sin
It is not enough to acknowledge your sin; you must be willing to repent. Repentance is not just feeling sorrow over your sin even though that is part of it. Repentance is when you desire to turn from your sin. True repentance comes when you recognize your sin and seek to move away from that sin with the goal of not committing it again. You can be confident that God will forgive you if you come to him in repentance.
Repent, then, and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord. (Acts 3:19)
Step 3: Asking Forgiveness from Those You Have Hurt
Another part of forgiving yourself is seeking forgiveness from others. This is part of the process that is beyond your control. If you have sinned against someone else, you should go to that person, acknowledge your sin to them, apologize, and ask for forgiveness. It is important to note you cannot control a person’s response. You must also understand your ability to forgive yourself is not contingent on whether that person forgives you or not. All you can do is your part. If you have sincerely asked them for forgiveness, you have done what you can do.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then, come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)
Step 4: Forgiving Yourself
Now let’s get to the heart of the matter. When you have confessed, repented, and sought forgiveness from those you have hurt, it leads to why you can forgive yourself. As I stated earlier, you can forgive yourself because when you have confessed and repented, God has forgiven you. However, it does not stop there. Not only has God forgiven you, but he does not remember your sin anymore. This is the number one reason you can forgive yourself. Since God does not remember your sin anymore, neither should you. Consider these verses to encourage you.
“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. (Isaiah 1:18)
As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake and remembers your sins no more. (Isaiah 43:25)
If that wasn’t enough for you, allow me to share one more verse with you.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)
Not to be condemned means you have stood trial, and there is no evidence to convict you. You have been found not guilty, and you can go free. If God has declared you innocent, not guilty, and free, you have every right to forgive yourself and not be trapped in the sins of yesterday.
What Happens if You Don’t Forgive Yourself?
Hopefully, you now understand better why you can forgive yourself. I want to highlight one last thing. What happens if you don’t forgive yourself? This might be the most important part of this article. The quality of your relationship with God, and your effectiveness as a Christian, are connected to your ability to forgive yourself. You have an enemy, Satan, who will attempt to hold every past sin you have ever committed against you. Remember, the Bible calls him the accuser of the brethren (Rev. 12:10). Think about what happens to you when you look back and remember your past sins. You feel dirty, worthless, and unusable. Instead of running towards God, you often run away from him. You come down with a case of what I call the “how could God’s.”
“How could God love me?”
“How could God forgive me?”
“How could God use me?”
That’s why forgiving yourself is so important. If you don’t, then instead of walking in the grace of God and the victory that Christ won for you on the cross, you wallow in the shame of your past. If you stay in that place, it will render you ineffective.
Final Thoughts On Forgiving Yourself
I don’t know what you are struggling with. But you should know today that you have been set free in Christ. You are free from guilt, shame, and the sins and mistakes of yesterday. For this reason, I encourage you to walk in that freedom, knowing God has forgiven you. For this reason, you can forgive yourself.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/fizkes
This article is part of our Bible resource for understanding the significance and meaning of biblical phrases and ideas. Here are our most popular Bible articles to grow in your knowledge of God's Word:
Promises of God in the Bible
Is "This Too Shall Pass" in the Bible?
What Was the Ark of the Covenant?
Top 10 Bible Stories for Kids
“Iron Sharpens Iron” in Proverbs 27:17
"Fearfully and Wonderfully Made" in Psalm 139
“Be Still and Know That I am God” in Psalm 46:10
"No Weapon Formed Against Me Shall Prosper" - Isaiah 54:17
